John Keats (1795-1821) the English Romantic Poet saw autumn as a:
Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss’d cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o’er-brimm’d their clammy cells.
Unlike Keats, however, in autumn my thoughts turn to ‘Socks’.
Socks are a commodity item for most men and are not cherished in the same way as cardigans, sweaters or even hats. Indeed, it is possible that socks are the least loved item in the washing pile. The lowly status of a sock may be due to its ability to get lost and form holes. But socks are expensive and so I have developed a four prong strategy to maximise wear. 1. At the first sign of a hole I put that sock on the other foot. Stage two is to turn a sock inside out, which has the effect of putting the hole on the other side of the foot so to speak. 3. When a sock has two holes I discard it and then step 4, is match the remaining sock with another of similar hue. (The disdained and discarded sock may however find a virtuous new life as a recycled geotextile product)
During my National Service in the RAF we used to darn socks, but this was never really successful because darning is essentially a woven construction, whereas socks are made on circular weft knitting machines and comprise rows of continuous loops. A weft knitted fabric is more flexible than a woven one, and whilst each manufacturing method has its merits, they are rarely used together except in the case of woven straps, tapes and labels.
A few years ago, this column ventured some thoughts on hosiery which prompted a call from a Kempley reader who recommended socks from H. J. Hall of Leicester. At the time, the reader was not aware that the first ever manufacturing company I ran was Towle & Cursley also of Leicester, which produced own brand men’s socks and ladies’ stockings but also supplied M&S, Dorothy Perkins and Bon Marche in King’s Square Gloucester. H. J. Halls is still operating but Towle and Cursley, like most British sock companies, alas is not.
This Kempley reader came to mind again recently whilst ordering socks from H. J Hall via an advert in the Daily Telegraph. The offer was for six pairs of what are best described as ‘socks with a colourful public persona.’ As I clicked ‘pay now,’ my mind drifted forward to the time when the fourth stage of my sock strategy would come into play and when I would be mixing a bright green sock with blue heel, toe and welt, with a crimson sock with green heel, toe and welt. When this time arrives; I think somehow my wife will choose to raise the added possibility of a clash between the socks and my choice of bow tie.
Talk of my method for extending the life span of a sock is one thing, but my wife says that I might, inadvertently, have also devised a method of extending the human life span. Her insight arose when she noticed that every Friday during our breakfast routines I was proceeding as though it were a Saturday morning. She would quickly point out my error in order to observe the look of delight which appeared on my face as it dawned on me that I had a day ahead of me I didn’t know I had. Currently, I can find no answer for this psychological phenomenon. No doubt however, some clever-clog in Cambridge is already seeking cash for further research into the matter.
The scriptures advise us to live each day as it comes and I try to do that, but somehow I still manage to have one day left over. Very odd really, but I suppose that is better than not being able to fill the hours of the day you do have.
Readers already know that there are really only seven days in the week, and are also aware that, from time to time something happens to makes us realise the importance of a positive personal attitude to what is happening around us. A News story in the Denver Post shows the attitude of Elmer Stephenson who, when he bought a new fridge, offered to give his old one away. It also exposed the attitude of the folks who passed his porch on which he had placed the fridge with a sign saying, ‘Free to a good home.’ After a week untouched however, he changed the sign to read.
‘For sale $50’
Next morning it had gone.
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