A couple of hundred years ago, the core message of many sermons was, ‘Behave yourself and do as you are told or you will be on your way to Hell!’ This is not the case now. Today’s listener could be forgiven for thinking that the fires of hell were doused when the Victorians built public sewers and the London underground.
Modern sermons are not about fear and social strictures but about an individual’s response to life’s opportunities. The old ideas have however not gone away, but have been cleverly re-cycled and are now used by secular organisations who compete with the Church for the moral high ground.
Nowadays, sermons which say, ‘Behave Yourself or Else,’ do not come from the Church but from the State and the vast array of quangoes, charities and bodies referred to as Non-Governmental Organisations. (NGOs)
These organisations tell us what our values should be, what to eat, how to travel and how to spend our time. The say that, unless we follow their dictats we shall run out of water, oil and gas. Rain forests will disappear along with Arctic ice and Norfolk will be submerged. Our brains will fill with holes because we eat beef, and our veins will clog with fat when we drink milk. In short, we can expect a hell on earth.
To my mind, we have somehow contrived to replace the hell-fire and damnation preachers of yesteryear with a new bunch who preach the same pestilential message.
There are however differences. The earlier preachers took the money and built cathedrals which adorn our landscape and lift our spirits through liturgy, literature, music and architecture to this day. This latter lot take our money, produce endless reports and pour concrete into foundations of huge steel towers and wind turbines with a twenty year lifespan.
In the past, our immortal souls were seen to be in jeopardy, but this time round it’s our mortal bodies which, according to folks like Greenpeace, can be saved by paying a windmill owner 43p per unit of electricity generated. And a further subsidy when the wind doesn’t blow
I ask myself, why is it that the world has always had people who want to organise the minutiae of our lives? Is it because we secretly want someone to take decisions for us, or is it because these people need to feel important and so bossing us around makes them feel good?
Bossiness comes in many guises, such as the Colchester council which received a complaint from a resident that the white lines outside his house had worn away and people were parking across his drive. Officials said they had not got the staff to repaint the lines and so he did it for them. Within days, the jobsworths of Essex threatened legal action and sent an invoice for the removal of the lines. How come they could find the staff to remove lines but not the staff to paint them?
Then there were the three (yes three) Trading Standards Officials in Somerset, who blocked a gateway to prevent a farmer going home after he had cut the school playing field as his free contribution to the community. He was charged and fined £140 for using the red diesel in his tractor for a non-agricultural purpose. One wonders if the officials involved were motivated by the letter of the law, rather than by a spirit of wellbeing for the people who pay their wages.
However it is not only Government and NGOs who hassle us, the private sector too is not immune to bossiness.
This can be seen in the plethora of instructions we must read before using a new appliance. For example, inside my new kettle was a leaflet warning that, ‘when switched on this kettle might get hot.” Leaving aside the thought that a kettle which doesn’t get hot is not a kettle, we are left to wonder why writers feel it necessary to tell us the blindingly obvious.
Mind you even the obvious can bring a smile to the lips. This happened when I purchased a piece of smoked haddock from Lidl. The label from this German supermarket read, “Achtung, this package may contain smoke!” Immediately my mind filled with images of customers who survived the last war, rushing out to don their ancient gas-masks.
However, it is probable that a lot of bossiness is due to insurance companies who compel customers to practice such high levels of assurance, that one wonders if most risks are now worth the cost of cover.
Talking about bossiness and insurance, the following account of the travails of a Norwich pensioner may provide some guidance.
Phillip Hewitson was going up to bed when he noticed torchlight in his garden shed. He phoned the police who said, “As the thief is not in the house and all our patrols are busy, lock your door and an officer will be along when available.” Phillip said, “OK” and rang off. However, he thought for a moment and phoned back saying, “Sorry to bother you again, but there’s now no need to rush as I’ve shot him.”
Within minutes, five Police Cars, two Fire Engines, an Ambulance and a Helicopter had arrived and caught the burglar red-handed. An irate Policemen yelled, “You said you’d shot him!” Whereupon Mr Hewitson replied, “And you said no-one was available!”
View from the Pew 