Many readers will have attended their Parish Church for communion and may have observed that at the appropriate stage in the service, villagers rise from their pews and form a line stretching from the altar rail at the front to the end of the nave. During this time the organ may play quietly and the choir may join in with suitably modulated singing.
Just prior to this, the Vicar will have estimated the numbers in the pews and prepared the wafers and wine required, and he will have said prayers to which the congregation will have given their responses. What may not be generally known however, is that once the wine has been blessed and poured into the chalice, Canon Law dictates that it must not be put back into the bottle which often means that the Vicar has to finish off the remainder.
This little known fact raises interesting prospects for those of us who sit facing east and look directly at the Incumbent. After many years of gazing at the altar and east window, I have developed an eye for those clergy who have, how shall I put it, irrespective of numbers present, been farsighted and generous with the amount of wine initially blessed.
I have also noticed that most communicants are kindly disposed towards those who follow them in the sacramental queue, and so take small sips from the goblet so leaving plenty for those following. I suspect however, that wise heads have developed strategies to take account of this clerical generosity indeed, on one occasion, a Redmarley communicant of my acquaintance once carefully positioned himself in anticipation of a large surplus. However, his cunning plan failed because he failed to notice the wily old visiting cleric who out manoeuvred him whilst sliding into the last available position with a cheery smile and a knowing wink.
Despite my friends failure, it is possible that such machinations can be justified on the grounds of preventing the Vicar being led into temptation whilst, at the same time, giving the remaining wine time to breath before dispatching it in due solemnity.
Pauntley too is home to a number of aspirant wine buffs and only last month after evensong the congregation had a BBQ, at which a member of the clerical team revealed their role as honorary chaplain to a local wine circle. This revelation excited speculation as to what benefits might thus be brought to Pauntley’s choice of communion wine and it was suggested that, in addition to displays of the hymn board and the psalm board, the Church Warden might also put up a board displaying the wine vintage of the day.
Talking of hymn boards however, reminds me of the opening of a Roman Catholic Church in my local town many years ago. For some years Father O’Malley the Priest, had been famous for his bingo calling skills and had developed a large personal following. It was also said that this popularity had led to a dramatic growth in numbers attending Mass, although this may also have had something to do with the cheap beer and bingo available only to church attendees at the private club in the basement of the new church of St Joseph.
The Priest, who was known affectionately as Father Bingo was suspected of using the hymn board as an indicator of the numbers to be called later, and this suspicion was confirmed when, on one occasion, he forgot that he was performing Mass and announced that, “The next hymn will be clickety click number sixty six.”
View from the Pew 